I’m all for honesty. Though I’ve been guilty of withholding the truth before, it always comes out. I have a compulsive need to bare everything to the person I’m with including uncertainties about the relationship.

But something about his statements is rubbing me the wrong way… if they haven’t talked about stuff like this before, it has no context and I would definitely consider him insensitive or at least very naive to express feelings like that in such an offhand way.

It’s not like he’s saying “I’m conflicted. I love you and I don’t want our relationship to end, but sometimes I experience feelings toward other people. Let’s talk about it.” Instead it doesn’t sound like he’s really interested in her input at all. He’s already thought about it himself and come to his own conclusions. The reassurances he gave her after the fact sound more like patting himself on the back.

Disagree strongly. Sharing is not a virtue unto itself. Being “open” when the one and only purpose is to cause harm and disharmony is an unmitigated evil. Causing harm for 0 benefit is causing harm, even if its the truth.

Not to mention is wording/approach was intentionally hurtful/incendiary.

My first gut feelings totally agree with you guys. I don’t understand why he would think it is OK to do all the things they did – hang out outside of work environment so much. And while I appreciate the honesty, I think maybe the disappointment part is something you share with buddies, not necessarily SO. However open and honest the relationship may be.

There is no way for them to be together. She now has a long term live in bf herself, and they live in another country other than the US. What happened between them was more than 10 years ago, and it was a very short flame. Even though they see each other here and there over the years, this is the first time in more than 10 years that they actually got to spend time like this.

He said she is just being a good friend. That’s all. I, on the other hand, have doubts. They had maybe a little too much fun and his feelings are very concerning to me. I also genuinely believe that he loves me and don’t want our relationship to end. (I hope I am not wrong as some of you are saying maybe he is being a gigantic jerk to force me to end things.) But the conclusion is, they did not do anything wrong and he focuses on the part that “nothing happened”. So I have no idea how to process this.

I talked to my friends about this. Male friends would say “well he didn’t cheat on you.” And female friends would say “what an insensitive jerk.” Very conflicted all over the place.

I’ve noticed this for a while, but I am starting to see it more, or maybe I just pay attention to it more. Anyway, I have trouble completing some tasks without either getting bored and starting something else or just get a dying urge to complete it and hurry up and half ass it to just get over with it.

Today was a good example. I started to empty out the dishwasher and make something for lunch at the same time. Well, lunch was done before the dishwasher was empty (just microwaved something), so I left the dishwasher and had lunch. But then I wanted to clean up the garage before it got too late. So, I started cleaning up the garage. Then, I wanted to wash the car before it got dark. After the car was washed, I wanted to go to the store before the close. By the time I got back from the store, I was too tired to finish cleaning up the garage or empty out the dishwasher.

So, I got the dishwasher half emptied, the garage about a third of the way cleaned up the car washed and went to the stores I had to go to.

I tend to do this fairly often and I know this is a lame example, but its the most recent. I can’t think of any others right now.

This post isn’t particularly about today, but just in general. I don’t know if this is about poor planning, lack of concern, lack of time, ADD or something else.

Now, I do work a lot, average 11 hour days and 6 days a week, sometimes 75 hours or more in 7 days. Partially by choice to make some extra $$$ to pay for things I want, like furniture, since I recently purchased my first home and that’s where most of the money goes. I also work hard and most of my week consists of working and sleeping (yes I know that’s sad and there is A LOT more to life than work). But its only for a little while until I get situated in my new home. I am fortunate to have a job with decent pay that allows me to work a good amount of overtime to be able to afford a home in California and a few other toys. This doesn’t leave a whole lot of time to get other things done during the week.

I’ve always been like this, but I guess I notice it more now that I don’t have as much time to myself. It seems to happen more in my personal life that at work, but I know I do it at work also. Any opinions?

I think I need to get organized. I’ve been using a little pocket planner type notebook and i jot down things i need to get done today and my gosh, I’m finally free of stress because it helps me take care of things quickly and in an orderly fashion….plus it gives me a sense of control in my life.